Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Confession time....

I haven't been to the gym in over a month.

Yeah, I know that's bad.

I've been trying hard not to beat myself up, which is not an easy thing for me.

But today I went back.  Today I got my "donkey" out of bed and got out the door.

It felt good, well, not totally good, but I can't argue with the fact that I do "feel" generally better when I, exercising regularly.

So there it is, a reboot.  I'm redoubling my efforts and getting myself back on track.

Tomorrow afternoon I'll be meeting with a physical trainer to do a Physical Fitness Evaluation.  My new friend Chris, a certified personal trainer, is going to help design a program that will kick my butt, keep me challenged, and maximize the commitment I'm making.  It ain't gonna be cheap, but it'll be worth it.



Thursday, April 19, 2012


Well for my few followers here's a loooong overdue post.

It's confession time. I'm in a rut. Actually I've probably been in it for a while now.

It's been increasingly harder to get up to be to the gym by 5:45am.

Eating habits are OK but I'm not keeping track like I once was.

I don't think I've put any weight back on save for maybe a few lbs but I'm not too happy with myself.

Take this morning for instance. It's 6:26 am and I've been up since about 5:25am. Do you think I went to the gym? No. I've been stalling, ruminating, pondering.

In case your wondering, I haven't given up; not by a long shot. I'm in this for life; for the long hall. I just wanted to bring y'all up to date.

Believe in me as I continue to believe in myself.

Thanks for sharing the journey.

More posts to come soon.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Another 10 Bite the Dust

Well, it's been about 3 weeks since I had the opportunity to weigh myself.  It's been crazy busy and one of those weeks we traveled for Thanksgiving.

So today I made the trek in to get weighed, and lets just say that I was a little nervous.  Even though I felt as though I really behaved during our Thanksgiving Celebration, I as not as diligent in cataloging everything that I ate over that week.

I'm ecstatic to report that today at my weigh in I found that I had lost.......

10 Pounds!


Was I excited?  You better believe it!  I am now lighter than I have been in over 12 years!

So the grand total is a loss of 40 pounds since August (30 pounds since I went public with it on my birthday, September 11th).

I worked out every day but one when we were on vacation...yeah I know, crazy, huh?

After a 12 hour car ride I hit the treadmill at 10:30 at night for a mile and a half walk at 3 miles p/hr.

I have to admit, I hardly recognize the guy I'm becoming, but I'm really looking forward to meeting him!



Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving Day Workout

Bring on the turkey & a Loin's win, if you please!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Not Bad

Not bad for 10:15 pm and after 11 hours in the car!



Thursday, November 17, 2011

The "Dark Passenger"

For the last several weeks now, Lisa and I have become hooked on the Showtime Emmy winning series called Dexter.  The writing of the show, combined with the complex emotions of the human struggle between good and evil can make for some fairly compelling television.

With that said, now let me just say at the outset that the show is rather graphic in nature and would probably carry a strong “PG-13” or even “R” rating if it was a movie.  So parents, and adults, consider yourself strongly cautioned.

The show chronicles the life of one Dexter Morgan, a man who, as a child, witnessed his mothers brutal murder, and as a result of that event, it has significantly changed his life.

As a result, Dexter has grown into a sociopath; a serial killer with a conscience of sorts.  Wrestling with what he calls his “Dark Passenger” this haunting drive to do “bad” things, he made a decision long ago to use his liability as a tool for, well, I guess one could call it “good” but I’m not sure that’s what I’d call it.

You see what Dexter does - and yes, he is an active serial killer - is kill evil (bad) people.

His keen mind and his “killer” instincts have landed him a job as a “Blood Spatter Analyst” for the Miami Police department.  And, though his job, he has access to the records of the dark criminally evil underworld of the streets of Miami.

As one gets sucked into the show you begin to notice, after several episodes, that you find yourself, well, rooting for a serial killer.  You begin to see in Dexter a sense and or presence of justice.  The “code” he has chosen to live by prevents him from doing any harm to a truly innocent person.  However, if you are an evil murderous person who has taken innocent life, Dexter then might be right on your tail.

One of the brilliant tools that the writers have introduced is this idea that I mentioned above: this "dark passenger."  For Dexter the "dark passenger" is this inborn need to take life.  It is a need that could be, if left unchecked, extremely destructive.  Yet Dexter has managed to controls its primal instinct for good; for taking out bad guys, those who have succumbed to evil.

I think all of us have a "dark passenger."  All of us have that part of our psyche or soul that would seek to lead us to do that which is least beneficial to ourselves or to others.

For some that "dark passenger" is alcohol addiction.  For others, it is drugs.  Still for others its sex, or shopping, or coveting, stealing or even hoarding.

For me, my "dark passenger" is an unhealthy relationship with food.  My "dark passenger" entices me to cope with life, to sooth the stress of the day, to deny what's really going on at a deeper level, with food.

And I refused to let it win.

Like Dexter, I have come to keep mine in check with a "code;" a distinct commitment to make the lifestyle, emotional and spiritual adaptations necessary to overcome my interior break or weakness.

This week my "dark passenger" has been particularly LOUD.

I haven't been to the gym yet this week.  This is the first time since mid-September.  I've been sick and well, miserable.  I've had a fever every night this past week except for last night.  So I have listened to my body and rested a bit more.  But I've been so afraid that this is it; that finally I've given up and won't go back.  Now I know this isn't true but it sure feels like it.

My "dark passenger" has been attempting to convince me to "give up, let it go," and has even suggested that the "old way" was the better way.!

I've probably driven my wife nuts this week with my concerns that I haven't gone to the gym.  I'm still eating well; I'm still keeping that part of the plan.  But I'm terrified of going back to the "old way."  I even asked my wife last night, " does my face look fatter?  Does it look like I've gained weight?"  To which she replied, "no."

I'm committed to making sure that my "dark passenger" doesn't win.  What about you?

P.S.  I plan to be back at the gym in the morning.



Daily Caloric Intake



Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Sick Days

Been sick the last two days.

Had a fever of 100+ both nights.

Not worked out yet this week.

I miss it and feel incredibly guilty. But, I'm trying to listen to my body.

Pray for me...



Daily Caloric Intake



Friday, November 4, 2011

Weigh Day

Yesterday was weigh day. Lost another 5 lbs. Puts me at 458. I haven't been that light in a decade!